Justin Timberlake  -  Justified
continued..
Justin has managed to enrich us via the wonders of airbrushing and modern technology. If you've heard his speaking voice, you've most likely already thanked something high and deity-ish for the miracle of synthesizers. Nasal sirens should not be able to sing, let alone talk. The masking effect of 'complete loss of original vocals' works wonders on 'Justified', no doubt sealing Justin's fate as one of music's greatest mediocrities.

"Cry Me A River" however, is an excellent pop ditty, blending a jamming beat with Justin's eunuch, oops, I mean unique voice.  In the video, his high notes weren't enough to break glass, so he had to use a rock. Glowering and shiny, Justin's videos portray him in a completely new form while his brooding techniques would be more convincing if you could actually not see through him.

I can usually interpret or translate lyrics but this has me in spirals. "Now I gotta decide if I'mma help raise your mind, see the ultimatums or me, that's no fun". His throat should be full of throbbing polyps by now but due to his lack of vocal participation in public venues, it doesn't. Justin's got his greasy fingers in every bottle of cheap fake tan - R & B, pop, contemporary, mainstream and campness. Unfortunately for him, despite his versatility, all will appeal to teenyboppers and Justin Timberlakes only.

The duet with Janet Jackson isn't so much a duet as it is just Justin. On every track, Justin says the word "girl", which makes me believe he's either an extra in "The Color Purple", overcompensating for certain rumors, or they aren't referring to his voice when they associate him with Michael Jackson. Not to mention his duet with Nelly feels like a buddy movie with Carrot Top and  Ernest.

This whole album is like *Nsync bandmate Joey Fatone. Overdone, out of place and no matter how hard you try, you just can't like it.



Back to Dogbacon's Music Reviews